Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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