There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
