Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
