arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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