I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
