Taylor Swift is so right about you.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
