is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Houston, we have a squirter
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
