i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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