i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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