I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
