im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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