I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
