i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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