I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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