I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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