I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
