That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
