just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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