I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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