Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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