apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
