can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
