how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
