he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
