what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
