My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
