I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
