dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
