I accidentally burped into my bong.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
