K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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