you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
