I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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