I'm drive I can fine osifer
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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