oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
