I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
