my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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