I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
