Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just had sex on a roof
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
