Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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