I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
