okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
