are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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