Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
