well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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