Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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