Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
