dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
