This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
