And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
