Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
