I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
