so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
